My feelings, secrets, unknown past and forgotten memories.

Sleepy.. and tired...

The funeral came to an end at 5pm... We are all tired and sleepy.. I wonder when will the next time where all relatives can gather again.. I certainly hope the next one will be on a happy occasion.

The hardest part for me today was seeing my "Gu Gu"s cried so hard and they were practically hugging the coffin while crying.. 1 of the Gugu kept telling her mum to rest in peace while the other Gugu asked her mother to bring her along... It was so upsetting..

It gave me more fears and anxiety of loosing my own immediate family.

=_=

Sah Jim Bo passed away on monday...

Mama announced that everyone in the family should go help out coz shes our close relative.. Hmmm.. I would say that she is their close relative ba.. My brother and I went anywayz.. There were quite alot of visitors at the wake. And I have been folding "Gim Zuah" for the past 2 nights..

The funeral is done accordingly to taoism.. so preparations are much more complexed than a buddhism funeral.. Haven had time to do up Sales Strat.. I need to complete today by 4pm before heading to the wake..

I kinda enjoy the process of helping out though.. I get to talk to relatives that I seldom get to see and learn more about taoism funerals.. The elders there are really nice and humurous folks.. I mean, they rushed there to help out after a tiring day of work.. Plus this is the only thing I can do for Sah Jim Po now..

Even my Ah Gong went and will be going for the rest of the two nights.. Hes really nice la.. First time to see him concerned about Family thingys.. But of coz he still shoots his vulgarities all the time at the wake.. he even scolded for having so much leftovers of curry chicken.. I think his vulgarities are already part of his speech.

Ah ma is down with flu and was coughing the whole night.. -__- I could not sleep a wink.. Da Bao my blankie, pillow and bolster to my Mama's room and slept with my parents.. I think I caught the flu virus from her.. -_- .. Am having a bit of runny nose and sore throat.. She refused to see a doc.. Whats wrong with her man...

Sorry yum! I jus had to add this photo here..

I

MISS

YOU

SO

MUCH!!

;D

Anyway, this is the first time that YUM's photo is being posted!!! LOL.. This entry is super classic ok? Not to disturb u la Yum.. Its just that I am always tempted to post our pic here whenever I start writing for my entries...

Finally, I am contented. MuahahahaZZ... You better be back from Jap soon and get my cravings going!!! I am friggin irritated for not receiving any SMS, calls, MSGs in MSN and Gossips from you. LOL...

HUGX HUGX!!!!!!

New Keychains For Us!!

This is mine!! Baby Piglet... His baby Piguri =P

This is his!! Baby Pooh... My Baby Poku (POH-KU) =D


A Special Request By Poku!! =)

OMG!! Baby Charlize is an ANGEL!!

lol.. so KAWAIII....

The 2 videos in her blog are sooooo CUTE!! SOOO CHEEKY!!!! SOOOOOO SOOOO SOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOOOO KAWAIII!!!!!

Shes so smart to be able to respond to her mummy at such a young age!!! Im so amazed again by this little star!!

Why?

Sah Jim Po's days are numbered... According to the doctor, its either tonight or tomorrow...

I wonder... Why do humans claim that they want to give up on their lives and let go of everything even before their sickness worsens, but then, are persistently unwilling to let go at the brink of death?

She chose to give up the moment she was diagnosed with failing kidneys last month.. She is also a diabetic patient for the past few years..

No control over diet since last month... Refused to go for dialysis... Kept saying that she was waiting and was ready for death...

And now? She lies on the bed in ICU... Unwilling to go..

Sigh... I feel very upset and a little angry over this... Lots of question marks... But everything is too late now... I just hope and pray that she can go peacefully to the western paradise with Buddha. And I pray for my loved ones who are alive, to cherish the happy times spent together and always be thoughtful of their own lives..

We should learn to avoid regrets rather than feeling helpless and miserable for our regrets.

Ohm mani peh mi hum...

~ Happy Mooncake Festival ~

Kinda miss the good old days when I was at a very young age...

vivid memories passed through my mind at this moment... Carrying paper lanterns.. and getting them burnt into ashes accidentally within 15minutes... Lighting candles with my brother and mum in the mini garden between the PAP and Block 46.

I remembered there was once when my brother and I bbq-ed a big, fat and alive lizard to death outside our house when we were still living in Block 47. And of course, there were times when we were scolded by passing by aunties for playing with fire.. they never failed to point at us and warn their own children to not do the same thing... lol..

Ahhhh... I havent seen children doing all those fun stuffs for lantern festival in the recent years... I can only see a handful of children carrying battery operated lanterns...

And arent we supposed to admire the full moon while enjoying the yummy mooncakes with slow sips of some warm and fragrant chinese tea?
What happened to our Chinese Heritage?

Maybe i should get my parents to do that next year..

Oh poor lonely Mr Moon..

The End Of...

yet another day of scrubbing..

My saturdays are full of cleaning as usual.. But the funny thing is, i cleaned the toilet rather happily today.. Humming jay chou's song while scrubbing the toilet bowl and walls.. My my.. Perhaps, cleaning can be a method to help destress yourself?

Was talking to rachel yesterday.. We both realised that we have not been doing shopping for so damn long. I cant remember when was the last time I met up with yum and all to have a crazy fun time tog..

Mama was talking to me today about my future career and stuffs after complaining about the sales manager in the company shes working in.. Ma said she wants me to do something I really enjoy.. salary is not as importart for the start..
I wonder.. Sigh..

Anyway little baby Mark wil be celebrating his full month next sunday! Weee! My pretty little boy! Wonder how edern is doing.. Hope Baby Mark wil not be as hyper active as Edern.. YES! Ganbatte on the coming sunday for lotsa cute baby photos! And all my other cuties!

New Tagboard Up!

oh my. Din realise there is a prob until i visited ping ping's blog. Lol!

The previous tagboard gave me so much problems! Couldnt post anything at all..

Problem solved! Start taggin away!

WARNING! CUTIE UNLEASHED!!

do not, I mean, DO NOT click on this link unless u r fully prepared to be overwhelmed by a 120% cute cutie! Keke!

Cute little Baby charlize was spotted to run loose in blogspot a few days ago!!

Click HERE to find out more!!

Just A Thought...

We always complaint about things around us...

How life could be better if we had this or that.. And what others can give you rather than offering what you have to make their lives better...

We should not live like gluttons.. Learn to give more than to take.
Not to take people around us for grunted... Especially those who are dear to us.

Life could then be a little more perfect for you and those around you.

YUMMIE YUMMIE YUM!!!!!!

Where are you?

I havent seen you for decades lah... Urghh its so frustrating even though we are msn-ing right at this moment... LOL... Better arrange a day for our meetup ok? If not I will stop answering your calls and not reply you on msn.. LOL...

XLB!!! Our juicy, juicy, sweet and fragrant XLB!!!


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WeeeEE PEeee!! Am going to buy a pair of white shorts tml!! And head to IKEA Tampines with Dear!! Believe it or not, I have never been there since it started operations at Tampines. Super Suah Gu Zeng ok..

Ahhhh... Finally going somewhere other than SIM or sticking around at home like a sick "Lizard"... yucks.. mentioning this word simply gives me nothing but endless goosebumps.. Super


deprived of my dear cuties for the past 2 weeks!!!!!! MY ANGELAA!!!! ZEH ZEH IS GOING TO ITCH TO DEATH LAH!!!!! Oops, I sound like a pervert man.. lol.. Its juz dat this lovely cutie little cheeky darling girl is just toooooo adorable that I cannot live without seeing her smile for too long!!! Awwwwwwwww... and baby charlize too!!! She has surely forgotten me already!! BABY E-DERN is worse... He will probably think of me as a total stranger when he sees me next time...

MY CUTIESSSSSSSSS... ZEH ZEH MISS U ALL SO MUCH OK!!! SO MUCH SO THAT I WISHED YOU HAVE ALREADY LEARNT READING!! Come, come read this entry... LOL... MUAHZ MUAHZZZZZ!!!!

New Skin...

Dats the way uh huh uh huh.. I like it.. uh huh uh huh... =D

Finally changed the skin after sooooo LONGGG... It all happened after Dear's ErJie asked me stuffs about blogspot and the blogskins... Somehow, it inspired me to change the skin.. Its time to do it, thinking about it is just not good enough...

Renny's Secret Diary has been through for almost 4 years!! Now, that is definitely something for me to be proud of!! And everyday of my life, I feel glad and happy to own this blog. Its not just a mere journal, but a place where I vent all my frustrations and record happy moments of my life.

Humans are forgetful. Okay, I am a very very forgetful person. I can even forget about what happened the day before. So it is a must for me to continue writing to prevent my memories from vanishing.

I have been finding myself reading through the archives unknowingly recently, with all the memories flowing through the back of my mind... I guess it was a good way to learn about the mistakes I made in the past, and never to have myself go through the same regrets in the past.

Hmmm..

03/09/08

I hereby announce that 3rd September is BESTIES day for Renny & Yummie!!

It is a personal public holiday exclusively for the two of us!!

The heart-warming email was the most truthful validation of our friendship and how we value each other to be there all the time, counting on each other unconditionally.

I am really glad to have her around as much as she does.

CHEERS TO 3rd Sept!!!!

Cravings...

My all time craving for lunch and dinner now..... AWWWWW... damn sinful la...

But I am totally in love with roasted duck rice recently. Just had it yesterday, the day before, last Friday and....

I'm such a chao kuan... I will keep stuffing whatever I crave for a period of time before I stop completely for a loooong time...

Well, I think the only way to stop this chao kuan habit is to see a psychiatrist.

AND!! I have not given up on the cupcake yet... soon... soon... after eating the delicious choco fudge cake which Dear Dear's gonna order for our 3rd Anni celebration!!

CHOCO... choCoooOOoo... MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE CHOCOOOOOOOOOOO...

Fat... Fatttttssss... FFFFAAATTTTTTTTTTTTT Foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Sudden urge...

to ask Dear out for a game of pool. =D

We should do it again ya? It was so fun!! Just the two of us! Haha.. the next time I will surely take photos of us (nearly) trashing the pool table.. lol...

I miss my little Angela so much lehhhh... Can't visit her so often though, according to Mama.. My aunt needs to rest and blah... Awwwww... the little baby boy looks exactly like Angela when she was a baby!!! HONTO NI KAWAII!!!!! This also meant that this baby boy will look just like my cute little Angela when he grows up! I can't wait!!

Ermmm.. The fact is, I cant be sure of his name yet... His father merely decided on his own to call him "He Jing" in han yu pin yin... omg... like those chinese wu xia xiao shuo kinda... -_-''' .... He wants to call him MARK... ermmmmmm... Angela was repeating "ALAMAK ALAMAK hahahhaa" and slapping her forehead when she heard her dad's suggestion...

KAWAII.... and so mean la... lol....

Awwwwwww... She was sitting at the gate when Dear and I were puttin on our shoes to leave for home... She was looking at me with kawaii puppy eyes and asking me,

"Zeh Zeh... you come back tomorrow?"
And then she continued sitting there and keep on "bye-bye-ing" to us...

OMGGGGGG... I was soooooooooooooooooo gek sim ok? She must be so lonely now that all the attention is on her little brother... awwwwwww... This poor little girlie... I must go over this week no matter wad.