My feelings, secrets, unknown past and forgotten memories.

Wad the heck is wrong with sum ppl...

this kind of stress.... this kinda environment... u can trust no one... everyone is waiting to pin you down... jumping into conclusions....

worse of all....... my test results suckssssssssssss.....

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hmmm been feeling quite sick recently.... damn bloated.... i feel super bloated everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have cramps these few days... i feel damn tired and exhausted... damn... i hate periods... suckkkkkkkkkksssss... its a torture....

Realised dat my hair is in a BIG mess.. the leftover highlights and over-grown hair.. yucks!! gotta do sumtin! probably i will dye it all to black n get a trim.

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anyway.. went to harbourfront and chinatown with my mum yesterday... went to accompany her for "work".. she had to settle sum stuffs there so went along to jalan lor... wanted to get the Swiss knife thingy for yong.. but my mum told me not to.. cause no one buys sharp or piercing stuffs as gifts.. lol. hey but its abt $45... and i noe he needs the rope knife for work.. hmmm anyway gotta source for other gifts den. coz our 1st yr anni and his bday is cummin :)

hes lik the sweetest thing ever on earth. always there to support me and hear me out. and hes reali consistent! yeah... and hes the guy who allows me to EAT wad i want....
so sad... my mum keep sayin im fat. she commented yesterday dat i shouldnt hav finished my lunch yesterday... no wonder im fat she said.... so disheartening.... i mean i eat when im stressed or when my period is cummin... urrrghhhh.... okok so i tink i should just tape my mouth n eat nth. best. i noe im puttin on weight... but i m juz nt disciplined enough to workout n stuffs... ok. yes. im just plain lazy.

My Student...

this blog entry is dedicated to my student whom im giving tuition to...

OMG... started giving him tuition last week.. and quite a bit of stuffs to comment..

1) can lie on his bed during tution

2) keep talking about his 'happenin' childhood

3) fidgeting... fidgeting...

4) shows me his toys -_-"

5) lots of excuse to leave his study area

had to count to five to get him seated down and his eyes on his assessment books.. BUT something weird, unbelievable and awkward happened today lor...

He said he had to go to the toilet to do sum big biz.. and den i asked him to go ahead.. after quite a while...

ME : "Are you ok? done?"

HIM : "Errrr... wait.... in toilet..."

Me : "ok."
(continued waiting, sumtin caught my eye on the floor. HIS PANTS...?!?!?!?!)

HIM : "OKOK I FINISH ALREADY!"
(came running into his study room with his 2nd half of his body naked... AIYOOOO!!!!)

Me :(damn awkward, looked away) "Hurry wear your pants huh and continue with the tuition."

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I mean.. hes already in P1... should be taught about this kinda stuffs right??? and the funny thing is dat hes not awkward about it at all... guess wad, he took his pants and den sat down on his chair and wore his pants right in frnt of me, taking his own sweet time.. haiyo...

NO EYES TO SEE...

In d end.. he kept complainin tat the "tag" is makin his "there" itchy... urrrghhh... he wore his pants the wrong side!! i had to inform his maid to help him change...

NO EYES TO SEE x2...

Yahooo Woooo!!

finished both tests finally... ahhhh..

was so damn happy after the tests yesterday.. met up with dear and bro for lunch @ tamp. was so hella hungry after i left school at around 1pm... completely famished, dear and i bought bread from QBread. YUMMYLICIOUS man... he bough the egg and ham, i bough the chicken rendang one while waiting for my bro.. *slurp!

went to catch a movie after tat.. watched The Devil Wears Prada... very very good show!! love it so much... its pretty in depth... wanna buy the book now!

Anne Hathaway is GORGEOUS....... yum yum!! My goodness her eyes are HUGE!! lolx...
beautifully written novel... its so true. u might be doing sumtin glam.. but in fact.. u could be betraying yourself n ppl around u unknowingly.. there is no such thing as "NO CHOICE" in life. U HAVE A choice... u juz gotta make the right one.


//withdrawal of content -_-

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Ai Yai Yai...

feeling feverish now... alittle sore throat... and sneezin pretty badly now...

haiyooooooooo...

Wahaha... i took a pic of my grp mates today in lect.. shit.. my lecturer saw our mischieve.. and mentioned suddenly in frnt of 200++ students "HEY! U're taking picture!!" LOLX... OOPS..

ahhhh miss yong already.. was out with him and his family last night.. so paisei. coz i hav been appearing so often in front of his parents nowadays.. lol.. used to feel awkward n unprepared for this kinda serious committment stuffs towards HIS family..

Had a bad omen and feeling before i left the house last eveing.. told yong. and i tot its gonna be a conflict btwn me n him or his family or wad.. coz my sixth sense is gettin more n more fierce again -_-... i even thought its could b becoz his eldest sis would nt like to c me arnd....
True enough.. sumtin happened on the road when zhiwei ge was driving.. dat stupid truck was the bad omen(dunno how to describe the incident).... hengz. everything n everyone was safe. n was not as bad wad i imagined... was praying the moment we set off for dinner...

and i was so lucky and glad da jie did smile and talked to me... hengz.. was havin butterflies in my tummy the whole night.. so worried of saying wrong thingz all the time.. or say super cold thingz(yong always freezes) suddenly.. so i kept quiet most of the time. lolx.. lik a frozen piece of 'sam zam bah' (as known as 'three layered meat' in chinese) on the seat. lol...

oh yea..
ECONs test tml.. 30 MCQs...
A/Cs test on friday... structured
Buddhas PLEASE Bless me for these two days... ok? lolx

Party @ KM8

sentosa... yeap went to support fion there yesterdae.. although reached there kinda late.. lolx...

ok.. there will surely b pics coz she is always takin pics.. lol...

Nice Dinner Yesterday...

with my darling Fiona.. lol.. love her so much. shes lik a goddess to me. abosolutely gorgeous, highly intelligent, and carries herself so superbly well!! shes reali a B.I.T.C.H - babe in total control of herself!! Rock On!!

time reali flies when we chat.. we went to Phil's Steak for dinner.. great food! and then popped over to Billy Bombers for brownie and shake. awww was so darn full after dat.. i din even finish half the shake.. lol..

Sinful dinner... but it was reali enjoyable! oh yea.. fion forced me to photo taking... looked lik shit yesterdae... lol... i tink i put on more n more weight lor... reali envy fion.. shes reali loosin lots of weight the right way!! CONGRATS!! And i m reali happy for her to have found that special sumone!! CONGRATS AGAIN!!

Its reali amazing we have dat kind of 'mo qi'!! lol.. we asked for the bill at the same time, her special sumone has the same birthdate as Yong lor!!! couldnt believe my ears! lol... for tat, i assume he must be a reali great, sweet and caring guy!! lol..

She also brought some hair accessories for me.. she bought them during her business trip to jakarta.. lol.. i tot i wouldnt put it on... coz the flowers are reali BIG.. lol.. but in the end i liked it alot!! its in the photo.. lol... and she knew my taste exactly.. she took 3.. but she knew i would prefer two of the designs... lol.. smart ger...

Miss Earth pageant is comming!! She will Win!! lol...

Long day today...

in school.. 10am-5pm... hmmm.. have got accounts from 10am-1pm and econs from 2pm-5pm..

might have proj discussion today after 5pm.. wahhh wad a terribly long day..

cash is running reali low.. luckily i managed to get a tutoring lobang.. teaching a primary 1 mandarin on mondays and wednesdays.

im not sure wads wrong with me again.. i have been so tensed up during proj meetings.. im afraid tat i m not contributing enough, not prepared enough or seen as "out of point" all the time.. im so conscious of wad i say and do during proj meetings.. WAD THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME?!?!

oh well.. and i feel so out of touch with report writing!! i feel lik as if its been ages since i last wrote a report.. and the gang in my group are lik.. super pro and 'always ready'.

* breathe in.... breathe out....

No. I can do it.

it's enough...

urrrghhhh i pray to all buddhas... pls pls pls pls stop stop stop all the dreams at night!! its enough ok??? its just enough... i m so freaking tired.. stop torturing me... im recording this down because i m reali reali sick and tired.. especially last night... im also a light sleeper.. i was kept awake by my grandma's loud snores, and having dreams while im asleep.. im superly exhausted and irritated now with myself...

for all i remembered.. i only had 1 dream-less night since young.. i dunno y.. i have dreams EVERY SINGLE NIGHT and throughout the night... the dreams.. many many different dreams just come to me the moment im asleep... be it good or bad dreams.. its reali tiring u know?? i feel so restless and tired every single day.. i keep yawning lik a drug addict. one of the reasons y i cant hang out late at night is bcoz i do not hav enough sleep every night... i have never told anyone about this coz it sounds lik a ridiculous joke..

i can slp 13 hours a day! but i keep having dreams the whole nght!! its to a certain extend tat it affects my daily life.. i cant reali differentiate what had happened in real life and in my dreams..

i mean.. sometimes the dreams i had will be taken as it had reali happened in real life, and i respond and talk in reality as though tat incident had reali taken place before.. and i end up shocked n nervous when ppl tells me "NO"... tats when i realised that tat particular memory or incident took place in one of my many dreams...

im reali lucky if i only hav good dreams on certain nights.. what happens to the rest of the nights??
i wake up suddenly like as if my heartbeat is racing and in cold sweat.. thinking about what had happened. is it true? or is it only a dream?

sometimes i will just force myself awake to stop the dreams and sit on my bed.. i have to recall what really happened in reality and what is a dream.. so dat i dun get confused with wad i dreamt of...

i have tried to relax myself, make myself superly exhausted before sleeping.. a few times i experimented by going out till late at night.. keep myself awake until i m reali reali sleepy.. but i still end up havin dreams... i mean.. im already very exhausted, but i stil have dreams when i sleep!!!!!! can u imagine how BLOODY HELL TIRED I WILL BE IN THE MORNING????????????? HOW FRUSTRATED?????? HOW UNBEARABLE IT IS??? i can reali go crazy thinking about these frustrations.. but i know tat noone can help..

i reali m exhausted.. havin a good dream-less night can only be a wish now.. no. i only wish for a short dream-less 1 hour nap..

mah New slippers...

Bought those yesterday... happy! hmmm i tink dear was quite irritated or overwhelmed after i told him tat i can leave orchard after buying the slippers... actuali i saw this pair when i was out with fion. haha.. hmm liked it alot so decided tat i have to get them..

My bro scolded me this morning over a 'joke'... lol...


BRO: "Eh you fucking hell! din on the air con before slp last night!!"

ME : "..."

BRO: "AND U LEFT THE BLOODY WINDOWS OPEN!! I NEARLY FELL DOWN FROM THE WINDOW!!"

ME : "... huh?! (thinking wads the connection for wad he said...)"

BRO: "I HAD TO CLOSE the windows on my own.. i tot only half the window was closed so i leaned and pushed my hand against the left window pane... fucking hell it was not closed at all i nearly fell down!!"

ME : "hahahaa...."

MUMMY : "Dun laugh at him lah.. he very timid one... he told me he had nightmares about tat incident the whole night.."

ME : "WAHAHHAhhahahahaa...."

Yummy Cuties...

Nice Weather...

cooling.. relaxing.. ahhh nice day for shopping..

thinking of going to town today to get a few pairs of footwear.. yea.. haven been shopping for 'SOMETHING' for a long time..

will be meeting dear later n have to go over to his place to look for the awfullyChocolate article in one of the 8days magazine.. anyone heard of this chocolate cake shop? its got superlicious pure chocolate cake and ice-cream. 5 thumbs up for it!! however, their webbie is reali sucky.. try the cake though! you won't regret it! The cakes have low sugar content coz they baked them with pure dark chocolate.. oh.. and the ice cream.... YUM YUMLICIOUS!!
***Click me for awfullyChocolate's website.

had a reali fun day yesterday too with my groupmates.. lol.. we had a long chat after the project discussion and lunch. we were all laughing throughout! lolx.. its was reali a cheeky and fun day. hope can go KTV with them soon.. mouth reali itching... in fact, i hope to hav a K-session VERY SOON... lolx

awww miss my baby angela... haiz... my aunt called just now.. my 3rd princess is not cummin tml... coz ma and pa will not be in.. they will be attending the funeral for her sister's mother-in-law... u know, i live and look forward to sundays. she is just so god-damn adorable lorZ!!! she is hyperactive, intelligent and super super funny... haha.. awwww.... the cute little thing...

anywayz.. gonna go hav my breakfast now.. its 10am.. yawnx...