Renny's Secret Diary

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My feelings, secrets, unknown past and forgotten memories.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Gone forever..

To western paradise last evening. Relieved from all the sufferings.

I cant reali accept it even til now.. Its so sudden. I was ten mins late to see him for the last time. I was so shocked when i saw him. He grew so thin.. I couldnt even see any flesh for his face.. His cheek bones were so distinct.. He looked lik he was still waiting for someone as he wouldnt close his eyes even after beating of his heart stopped.. And in the end, doc closed his eyes for him.. My aunt told me that even though doc had closed them for him, wai gong stil opened his eyes a little after that.. This was reali heart wrenching to hear.. He was waiting for two of his children who were not there yet..

after the nurses changed his clothes and laid him down.. We prayed for him the whole night as he was also a buddhist. We sang from six pm til nearly two am.. My mum kept askin my dad, bro, and me to go back home to take a rest.. She had to stay as she was the immediate family member to gong gong. My cousin stayed too. so we left around 2am..

i hate my knee. i cant believe it im limping now coz of the injury 3 days ago from playing badminton.. now i cant kneel for the funeral.. how... i still have to see another sinseh to tui kah... cant believe tis.. cant believe everything now... its lik a whirlpool.. urrrghhhh. i dunno wad im tokin abt now..