My feelings, secrets, unknown past and forgotten memories.

0138hr... Wide Awake...

another awful truth. why is it always likdat. sum ppl simply treat frenships lik shit. y? is it reali fun to lie lik no body's business?? is it dat fun to b a 'script writer'? wad do they gain? what do they want?

please la... put youself into other's shoes.. u think u wanna be the hot star of a gossip or rumour innocently? does it sound lik a gd deal to u? irritating lor... i dun understand y some ppl simply love to twist facts, turn untrue thingz to truths and then spread it like wildfire through others. Treat others like how u want to be treated ok? Do you reali think that NO ONE will ever find out?? im sorry. A truth is a truth. It will be uncovered one day. blame it on your luck then.

I used to treasure the 'frenship' so much. yet, it was taken so lightly and i wasnt being respected as a fren at all. wad the heck is this man... this simple incident has already stolen my trust for this person completely.

Another thing. nv judge a book by its cover. how true it is... so very true. dun let me catch this person's tail. reali. i wun hesitate to tear the mask off your 'angel-like' face. juz try me.

Nynn's Collection

*Gulp*

Nynn's Collection

Oops... Toilet Break!

Nynn's Collection

Duckie Legend

Seriously Disappointed...

in him. not becoz he smoked. but how he kept everything inside him without tokin to me. he stil told me dat i was the one closest to him. yet, i was the one who was kept in the dark. and was sentenced "you din even try to accept me". can anyone tell me how can i ever accept him now?? im so utterly disappointed. if he stil love himself n his family, he should noe wat is the right thing to do. i just realised dat even the closest can betray my trust.

mayb i had neglected him. but haven we told him dat he should concentrate on studies if he reali wanted to do well? told him nt to work. but he insisted. frm young, he was very spoilt n pampered. although he onli saw the harsh treatments given by mum n dad, there was a reason behind every scene. it all cums to the conclusion dat they juz wanna giv him the best. who were the ones who supported him when he was broke? where is his shelter when he needs one? its us. its this home.

not juz this. to me, family is everything. y is it dat i m also their child, yet i can win their trust n hearts? honesty. communication. dats all. no special tactics or scams. DAT IS ALL.

stress is not an excuse. definitely not. i dun believe stress is the root for ppl to smoke. juz a lousy excuse. y cant he juz say dat he couldnt resist his camp mates' influence?

you noe how stressed m i now? now dat i learnt the truth? all the scenes which could happen flashin in my brain? the shiveringz i get frm those undesirable scenes? the kind of disappointment i get which i could nv imagine? the kind of worried for his health? the anxiety of holding on to a truth which i nv wanted to noe? understand the tears which are fallin down my eyes uncontrollably?

this is sucky. my life has gone to a down point again. did u noe dat i admire, respect and care for him although i nv voiced them all out? this is worse den brkin off with my ex. it hurts. seriously.

Ho Ho Ho...

wad a great day to slack! lol.. nice weather nice dae n nice mood.

feel lik meetin up wit ah ger soon. funny. we have known each other for lik more den a decade but there is nv a dae where our topics will run out! hehe.. she is reali a great ger. hope she wil b happy with him.

life is as usual... yawnz.. coughin rather badly yest. had cough syrup n slept real damn earli last night. but shiok la.. its been a while since i slept so soundly n well. tml ah zhen is cummin! a new little kid whom i wil start to blog abt. She is my second aunt's little baby.. aiyooo this little baby ar... looks lik a korean hippy baby. next time wil post all their pics up. wanna make a album called "Memories Of My Cutiez". hehe.. ah zhen is another clever ger. but she seldom laughs.. lol.. n stil, i hav no idea on how to carry a baby.. although she is already 5 mths old la.. lol..

waiting for another baby to learn how to call out a sacred name "zeh zeh" wahahhaa... yea its gonna b fun. 3 little gers walkin behind me. n we can play like mad the whole day in 3 yrs time or less.. haha

hmmmm no activities for todae yet... gonna c if my cough is under control. n again... housework.. -_-.. hope one dae i wun need to even sweep the floor... or mayb i should hope for magical powers. get thingz done at the blink of my eyes! LOL...

A Public Apology...

to my TP kakis. lol... formal enough a not? Sorry guys for nt joinin todae.. reali stressed up these few daes.. lol.. n work is tiring.. plus those 'bore-me-to-death trainings...'...

I Rena Tan, hereby Apologise to Mr Rayn Lim, Miss Tang Ying Bao, Miss Elsie Leong and Mr Lin Dilin for not being able to show up tonight and for being such a coward for not attending the graduation ceremony. I deeply regret for any inconvenience caused. Your kind understanding is greatly appreciated.

LOL... oki sori guys... but plsssss can i hav my cert?? lol... i can 'be cow be horse' to get it back... lol.. i mean of coz i miss u guys.. promise a gd explaination would b done to elsie n bao mei... rayn n dilin can hearsay from them.. haha..

Im so glad that u guys are concerned of me. Thanks alot. im grateful dat u guys made countless calls n effort to try n drag me to the ceremony n askin me out tonight. Thanks. Reali. For that, i owe u guys a gd treat. But pls wait until nxt mth's pay day! LOL... until den... miss ya all...

Cheery Mood...

becoz i juz received a call from my little cutiieeeee cousins!! lol.. sooo cute... the phone rang... n i picked up.. immediately, i heard a cheerie brightie voice from the other side. MY NYNN NYNN CALLED!! lol... im mad.. i juz love the kids... and shane was using another phone... the two of them kept tokin to me... it was reali fun! n i improved!! i could catch 80% of wad mei mei said!! aiyoooo this little girl... u guys should hear how she talks..

nynn kept singing new songz she learnt to me... keke soooo sweeeettt... decided to make a cd for nynn... MY SUPERCUTIE(taken frm Superstar... lol)!! aiyoooo cut her songz into a cd... lol.. as a gift to her... its gonna b fun! n im gonna record mei mei's voice! make her tok n tok.. n let ppl guess wad she is tokin abt.. not a bad guessin game to play huh? lol...

n juz realized dat their mummy forbade them to speak in singlish (50 cents per singlish spoken)... well its a gd campaign... but.. i will hav difficulty catchin up with them coz i hav already owed $4 in just 10mins!! think i wil go bankrupt in 3 daes if i stay there next time! hahahaa... n their latest joke is "xiao wei zeh zeh is monkey" -_-... do i look lik it?! do i behave lik it?! do i sound lik it?!
LOL... n den they will say "sorry zeh zeh"... for callin me a monkey!! lol... funny kids! so contradicting.. couldnt help but laughed all the way..

towards the end... the both of them kept tokin at the same time... i couldnt hear anything from anyone of them! lol.. but the 'noise' was angelic n worth listenin.. lol.. i felt very touched. can feel the warmth n love frm the kids n how much they like being with me.. coz they jeep askin me when wil i b stayin at their place to accompany them.. sobzz... feel lik givin them a sweet tight hug n a big big kiss!!!

Life is Gd...

to be able to work again.. lol.. no more rottin n slackin lifestyle... i lov it now! doin order processin in singtel headquarters.. lol.. the canteen food is N-I-C-E!! haha.. tink i gonna put on awful lots of weight again le lah..

oops juz realized i haven been bloogin for lik .. SO LONG??!?? ermm... wil try to update my blog often.. well recently nth much happened.. livin days fresh again. juz lov it when im workin a stable job.. at least my time is put into gd use rather den watchin tv la.. eating la.. sleep la.. go out la.. lol..

beginning to miss my little devils.. becoz i wun beable to accompany them once i work.. sadz.. miss the times when i get to hear one of them call "ZEHH ZEHHH" every 10 sec or less... lol.. cutie babies.. next time muz bring them out go shoppin.. ermmm but muz find one or 2 person to help me jagar those 2 little cuties.. any volunteers?? hahhaa... last sun they came over to my place.. haaha as usual... they are superly smart.. juz love to observe nynn's progress. she saw me playin maple... den she learnt too. i taught her dat 'ctl' key is for attack. and 'z' is for pickin up items. she learnt it in less den 20 secs!!!! n after 2 hours break, she came back.. unknowingly, she remembered!! i din even remind her anything!! mind u!! this is the first time she ever touched a keyboard so formally!!.. oh my god.. i doubt she even noe wad ctl key is.. coz she practically remembered the positions of the keys!!!!!! MY LITTLE PRECIOUS!!! SHE IS A GENIUS!! lol... of coz mei mei also played.. but she anyhow humtam keyboard one.. lol... two cute little gers.. haha nynn is goin to do us proud one dae!! i juz luv her intelligence n angelic mind. hahhaa ermmm is angelic the right word to use?? lol.. miss them so much... the other time i went over to their place.. the moment the door was open.. n they scrreamed!! "XIAO WEI ZEHH ZEHHH XIAO WEI ZEHHH ZEHH" lol... oh my i felt sooo proud!! haha... they din even greet their mummy... immediately after dat they keep callin me n talkin to me... i din even hav a chance to put my bag down! lol.. hope they can b so close to me after they grow up. i wan to b their listener, peer n best fren! lol...

hope my frenz are all doin fine. wil organise an outing again.. no doubt. u r right. a KTV session. lol..

juz went thru the mp3s joey sent me. THEYYY AREEE SOOOO COOOOLLL N GRRREAAAATTTT!! Rocky's voice is juz lik crystal!! very clear n powerful!! waaaaaaaa idolll.... cant wait for the cds to b out in the market! reali owe it to joey n his brother. they are so so committed when they do serious work in the temple.. unlike me... work lik a slacker. lol.. hope there will b more composes frm joe. cant wait for more!!