Renny's Secret Diary

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My feelings, secrets, unknown past and forgotten memories.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Grand Finale is Over...

he is attached.. finally.. its time for me to move on seriously.. wrapped up myself for the whole of 4 1/2 months after brk off.. i found out.. was heartbroken and my heart sank to the bottom.. its todae den i realised dat... he reali does nt belong to me afterall.. now wad i lack is, the motivation to move on..

i wish him all the best.. but m reali disappointed in him.. n angry with myself for torturing myself for so long. i deserve a new life. a blessed life. a life which i can love myself better over other guys.

Stil.. i feel rather relieved.. after tokin to tp's elsie.. lucki i saw his true colours.. how uncommitted he was in less den a yr.. rather den after a period longer den dat.. well.. time wil heal. in fact i din cry at all. i dun tink i wil. i wun n i shouldnt.

Right now.. i am juz so tired to think of anything else.. after so many months of thinkin.. i finally realised.. wad i need is sumone who wil take gd care of me, can assure me a future and wil nt change his love for me.. not a shallow relationship i had with a shallow guy with a shallow mind. I know this day will come. i still believe it strongly. its juz dat i am unsure of my own feelingz... alot of phobia and doubts...

Ganbatte ba.. tok abt other thingz..

Anime.. Bleach and Peach girl are cool.. chiong-ed anime the whole of last 2 weeks... finished bleach todae n peach girl for the second time. COOLLLLL superb!!! cant wait for the next episode...

work is as per normal.. b-o-r-i-n-g.. tml 'A' is on leave a again.. n i gotta scan in lots of photos.. long day tml.. wish i were back during sch days.. so mani crappy n fun ppl arnd me.. all the ktvs, rubbish... skippin of classes... fyp... so mani mani good old memories.. suddenli i feel so empty and lonely with out my close frenz beside me.. i miss ah ger terribly..