Renny's Secret Diary

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My feelings, secrets, unknown past and forgotten memories.

Monday, September 27, 2004

My Mum..

Saw me crying yesterdae at home.. she was shocked because she did nt understand y i was feeling so down these few daes.. den she came to me and asked wad happened? was it becoz i had a quarrel with sean. I told her no and i dunno and i cried again.. den she said im suffering frm depression too.. cant believe im so unlucky this yr.. all the "female probs" juz keep cummin to me.. PMS, UTI, and now.. depression..

My mum experienced this before too.. lucki she told me more.. she advised me to see a doctor.. but i am embarrassed to see a doc.. i feel dat im so weird in this society.. and my eyes are all red and swollen frm all the crying.. din sleep much too..

i feel bad throwin my temper at sean last night.. i even scolded him a liar. i even tot of dying.. becoz he said he would help me walk out of depression.. but i couldnt feel any sincerity frm him.. so.. i blew up on sms with him.. haiz..

I've changed into so vulnerable ever since sean became my bf.. he treat me too well, spoon feed me wit everything, tolerate all my nonsense.. i took everything for grunted from my frenz and him.. I m a total loser.